Never in a million years did I think there would come a day when I’d be so thrilled to run a 10 minute mile. For most of my running life, a 10 minute pace was reserved for warm-ups and cool downs or days when I just wanted to take it easy. Thanks to injuries, lack of motivation, dog bites, weight gain, and now pericarditis, it’s been quite a few years since I’ve been able to maintain a “faster” pace for more than a mile. I couldn’t run a seven minute pace right now if my life depended on it! And for the longest time, that truth made me feel ashamed.
I was extremely hesitant to start uploading my runs to Strava because I didn’t want anyone to see how slow I was. However, I swallowed my pride and tried to use Strava as a motivator. To my surprise, it genuinely has motivated me to be more consistent and to run farther knowing the app is keeping track. What I neglected to do was realize that no one is actually judging me; in fact, most people probably don’t even notice or care about my pace. The reality is — I’m my own worst enemy.
Eventually I was able to let go of the fear of judgment from others (a fear my mind created about something that never existed). I forced myself to think of these stats simply as a log of my progress (the whole point of keeping track in the first place) and I stopped comparing myself to others or worrying about what others may think. At first it was difficult because as a coach I’m constantly around competition, not to mention some of the other coaches are serious runners who train like crazy and run incredible paces, so of course when I compare my runs to the people around me, they seem insignificant. Often I’d catch myself thinking how pathetic my runs were because I was comparing my present reality (I am 51, perimenopausal, and recovering from seven months of pericarditis) to my past accomplishments (often to ones from 20 years ago). Not only is that unhealthy, it’s just not a wise thing to do.
Once I fully realized what I was doing and how absurd it was for me to make those comparisons and judgments, I viewed my stats for what they truly are — signs of progress, dedication, consistency, determination and a healthier mindset. Because of that shift in perspective, when I managed two sub 10 minute miles during my run, I got genuinely excited. Previously I probably would have been happy for only a few minutes before the thoughts of how much further I need to go smothered any sparks. But yesterday when I saw my time, it proved to me that all those slow consistent miles are paying off and I’m getting stronger and closer to beating whatever is wrong with my health. When in the past I’d be embarrassed to admit to the world my current pace, now I’m truly proud and excited because I know what it took to get there.
Whatever goal we have, or whatever journey we are on, the truth is we all have to start somewhere. Every single one of us is unique in our circumstances. We won’t make much progress if we constantly compare ourselves to others because we run the risk of never feeling good enough. Maybe the person who runs much faster than me is 20 years younger, or perhaps they have much different goals. The point is, we’re all out here on any given day hopefully doing our best. What difference does it make if my best that day is completely different from someone else’s?
This all might sound pretty obvious, and intellectually I know that comparison is something I shouldn’t do. But I didn’t grasp it or allow it to change me until now. Numbers don’t tell the whole story. I’ve always allowed the stats to define me and determine my self-worth and that’s not OK. A fast time doesn’t make me a better person or more or less worthy of anything. But it does remind me that hard work and consistency pays off and that’s what I’m proud of. Despite all these setbacks lately, I did not give up when I so badly wanted to. I changed my thinking as well as my approach, rediscovered my love of running and became more grateful. As a bonus, my body is getting stronger and faster, and that is awesome. There’s a lot less pressure and so much more fulfillment.
No matter what journey you are on, take a moment to reflect on where you started and where you are now. Even a tiny amount of progress is still progress. There will always be setbacks, but if we allow them to teach us something along our path, they become meaningful lessons and tools that only make us stronger. So be sure to take the time to celebrate the victories. When an obstacle gets thrown in your path, focus on all you’ve learned. Then use it to find your way around or through it.
Most importantly don’t forget to encourage the people around you who may be dealing with a setback on any given day. Maybe they’re way ahead or far behind you on a certain path, but so what? What matters is we all have to start somewhere. Whether it’s at a 20 or 10 minute mile pace, the important part is that we all help each other and take the steps to keep moving forward.
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
“Don’t compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.” ~ Dawn Abraham
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ~ Zen Shin
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” ~ Galatians 6:4, NLT