No way! I thought in disbelief when I saw the time for mile 6 displayed on my watch. 9:09! No doubt about it — those last 2 miles were exhilarating. I had decided to push myself at the end of my run to see what would happen, but I was not expecting to hold a sub 10 minute pace for that long and actually feel good while doing it.
Hopefully this doesn’t sound like bragging. I mean really, what difference does it make how fast I can run, and why bother to write about it in the first place? My excitement stems from having the last three years flash through my mind. It was a frustrating period of time when I had almost given up hope of ever running anywhere near that pace again. Seeing that time on my watch reminded me of how far I’ve come. Could all my hard work be paying off, or was it just a fluke?
Out of curiosity I consulted my heart rate data and noticed, despite running a minute faster per mile, my heart rate did not spike. Three years ago when I was discharged from the hospital after having the fluid around my heart drained, I was forced to start over with easy walks. Those walks up my road, on a route I used to easily run just a few months prior, exhausted me and humbled me. My breathing was labored. My heart rate spiked in the 180 range. My legs felt like jello. And that was during a slow walk.
Over the next two years, my fitness gradually improved after consistently walking/running, but my heart rate remained unusually high, spiking very quickly with any amount of strenuous activity, especially walking up the hills. It took so much out of me. So to finally hold a much faster pace with a steady and slower heart rate was a cause for celebration.
Worried that it was merely a fluke or Strava glitch, I decided to push the pace again the following day. I didn’t feel as smooth because I was tired and sore from the gym, but I was determined to push myself, which is something I’ve refrained from these past three years due to fear of triggering chest pain, palpitations or difficulty breathing. To my surprise I managed 4 miles at a 9:39 pace. My watch must be wrong was my first thought, now convinced both days were a fluke. But my total time confirmed that I did indeed run at that pace.
Still a little skeptical about celebrating, I found myself combing through my Strava stats for the past three years to see if there was in fact a breakthrough. I noticed that prior to my heart issues I was typically running 10 minute miles. Then practically overnight I could barely hold on to a 16 minute pace. I had forgotten how suddenly I slowed down and how challenging it was to move.
For months this was my challenge until I finally was able to run for longer stretches at a time, often maintaining a 12-13 minute pace. This continued with periods of progress and near breakthroughs, only to be followed by one setback after another. Finally, this winter I had a breakthrough which I owe to my weekly running club runs. Because I was with others having great conversations, I was motivated to push more and to keep up with the faster pace. Before I knew it I was running 4 to 5 miles consistently in the 10 minute range. It feels like ages since I’ve been able to say that.
Undoubtedly, lifting weights regularly 5 to 6 times a week this past year has also helped. Overall, I just feel stronger. Whereas a year ago, I still struggled with breathing issues and a seemingly impenetrable wall at an 11 minute pace that typically felt terrible, now I noticed how my body felt more coordinated, stronger and capable of pushing the pace.
It has taken me a long time to get back to this point. There have been other times in my life when I started over, but it’s never been this challenging to get back into shape. Between dealing with the heart drama, autoimmune issues and the effects of perimenopause, there have been a lot of complicating factors. Honestly it often annoys me that I have to be diligent about stretching and foam rolling every night, as well as watching my nutrition. When my husband and I went hard-core on nutrition in the fall, it absolutely had a positive impact on me. My blood tests proved it. Since then, I’ve slacked off a bit and I can feel the difference. I hate to admit that eating things like bread, granola bars, sugar, etc. affect how I feel. Burying my head in the sand and ignoring what I know to be true so I can eat whatever I want is a more appealing idea. I find myself saying Can’t I just stop caring about all of this? Unfortunately, that would only make matters worse in the long run.
This week was a reminder that the sacrifices are worth it. All of us go through seasons of struggle when hope is questionable and we wonder why we keep trying. But the exciting news is that our bodies are resilient, so when we focus on taking care of them, they will eventually respond. I didn’t believe that two years ago. Results take time, consistency and patience. By no means is it easy. But it’s so worth it!
A running pace may seem trivial on the surface, however, it’s truly so much more. It proved to me that consistency and persistence pay off. We’re never too old to try something new and it’s not too late to set new goals. They may look different than they did 10 years ago, but they are no less rewarding. It’s so worth it to keep trying and moving forward one day at a time. Three years ago, I found it difficult to believe I’d ever feel strong again. I hesitated to dream big or set ambitious goals because I was fearful and doubtful. But I refused to give up and I just kept going — one small, slow step at a time.
Keep believing it will happen for you too. Focus on what you can do today to take care of yourself that you will be thankful for tomorrow. Before you know it you will find yourself looking back with gratitude that you never gave up and celebrating just how far you’ve come!