I’ll be the first to admit that I hate being an Empty Nester. The house is too quiet, there’s less toothpaste on the bathroom walls (which for some strange reason makes me sad), the dog sits outside their rooms with sad eyes, and I can’t figure out how to cook for only 2 people.
As my husband and I are learning how to navigate life in the house with just the two of us (well 3 with the dog!), we’re also trying to motivate ourselves to be proactive about our health in our 50s. After all, we won’t be very good roadies if we become weak, slow and prone to injury. As a result, we started lifting weights and on the weekends we’ve been running together — something we haven’t done in years.
What’s so cool about that, besides getting to share something that I love with someone I love, is that it reminded me of all the incredible adventures we’ve had together, particularly the ones we embarked on prior to having kids.
We recently drove around the old neighborhood where we first started running together 25+ years ago. Flashbacks from the early days, when we were only capable of running one block at a time because we were smokers and overweight, came flooding back as we both simultaneously laughed and cringed at the thought of our former selves. But we stuck to it and slowly managed to increase our mileage, lose weight, quit smoking, and embrace a healthier lifestyle.
We sought out adventure at home and as we traveled around the country. We mountain biked down ski slopes with friends and on trails throughout the Northeast, dreaming about having kids who would join us one day. We ran down the Las Vegas strip, on busy boardwalks in beach towns, up and down mountainous trails in countless state and national parks, competed as partners in biathlons, participated in races from 5K to ultra distances, and had a blast doing triathlons where we raced on mountain bikes, which provoked lots of comments and crazy looks from competitors on expensive road bikes as they flew past us like we were standing still. We loved every minute of it. We were so bad ass that we completed a 50K relay just the two of us, beating many teams of four or more people. We’d run a leg, then hop in the car and follow the other person to the next transition spot, and switch on and off throughout the day.
I’m so grateful we decided to get healthy together all those years ago because it created a solid foundation and created the tone for when we finally had kids. We didn’t stop once the kids were born, we simply brought them along for the ride. Thank God for the backpacks, bike seats, and running strollers that made our adventures even more fun because we could easily bring them with us.
I love that our kids got to see us compete in races and grow up to value and love physical activity. We’ve had periods where we had to focus on other priorities, and it’s been years since we’ve entered a race, but we’ve always been active thanks to ellipticals, hiking, and mountain biking.
Running together has given us so many opportunities to see the world from unique perspectives — early mornings in different cities before most people are awake, endless trails and challenging terrain leading to breathtaking views, wildlife encounters, and scenery we’d never have the opportunity to witness otherwise.
Neither of us are anywhere near the fitness level of our early days, but I’m so proud of us because we haven’t given up. This new phase of life has its challenges, but what part of life doesn’t? I love that we’re being proactive with our health and re-discovering our relationship as training partners. We may not be training for a particular race, but for something much more important — this new chapter of life. We want to remain in the game as active players for as long as possible. So when I relive all those early memories, I’m filled with gratitude toward our younger selves who decided to take those first steps together and keep going, even though it was slow and difficult at first. Without a doubt it made us stronger and shaped us as individuals and as a family. As we embark on this new adventure, I’m less fearful of what awaits us because I’m reminded of how the two of us welcomed challenges, put the hard work in, faced them together and always kicked butt.
Perhaps “hate” is too harsh for my feelings about being an Empty Nester. It’s definitely disorienting and often seems unreal, but now I realize it’s just another challenge that the two of us have to figure out together, and if our track record means anything, I think it’s safe to say we’ve got this!
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