I don’t know what it is about me and hospitals lately. For some strange reason it seems to be the place where God grabs my attention and where I’ve experienced several lightbulb moments. Maybe it’s because I’m so stubborn and clueless that it takes being hit over the head in my most vulnerable moments, (doesn’t get much more vulnerable than lying on your side, awaiting a colonoscopy or lying on your back watching a doctor stick a giant needle into your chest!) for me to recognize hope.
I just finished a book by Max Lucado called “You Were Made For This Moment” that I absolutely loved. It was a very thought-provoking read full of valuable life applications. What I didn’t know when I started it was that it was basically a commentary focused on a book of the Bible called Esther. I loved it so much that I raved to my family about it, prompting them to read Esther. I sent screenshots from Lucado’s book to my son every day so he could benefit from all the insight and applications in the book.
Two days after I sent the final chapter to my son, I was in the hospital for a colonoscopy. As the nurses were busy asking me endless questions while they were prepping me, I thought I heard someone mention the name Esther. At first it didn’t register (mainly because I was too preoccupied with what was about to happen) but it wasn’t long before I realized that the nurse who would be with me during the procedure was, in fact, named Esther. I had literally spent the last month studying this amazing woman in the Bible! I was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong conviction that it had to be some sort of a sign.
I was about to ask if she had ever read the book of Esther, but I suddenly felt stupid and couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. When she left me alone in the room I felt this prompting in my heart insisting that I speak up. I tried to brush it off (I mean come on, I had more important things to focus on like anesthesia and hospital procedures) but the feeling only grew stronger. Unfortunately I am terrible at speaking up, and I always convince myself that what I have to say is pointless. I tend to avoid starting conversations with strangers because I feel very self-conscious, so it’s always easier to just remain quiet.
But her name was ESTHER!
It couldn’t just be coincidence and I knew if I blew this opportunity to speak up, I’d always regret it.
I literally found myself having a debate with God about whether or not I should say something. In hindsight, it’s so crazy to think I was hesitant to bring it up, especially since I spent the last few weeks focused on her name. I told God that if she was alone when she returned to the room, I would ask her. Of course, she came back alone and I’m sure God was smiling.
I took a deep breath, told myself I had nothing to lose (I’d be knocked out soon, anyway) and asked her if she had ever read the book of Esther. Immediately her face lit up. She smiled and said she had, many times. In fact, it turns out she was named after Queen Esther! She stood up and proudly said “Here, check this out!” as she showed me the embroidery on her jacket. “Queen Esther” was stitched across the left side of her jacket. How cool is that?
The story about my month-long journey with the book of Esther that had just ended two days ago easily flowed from my mouth, then led to a great conversation about her being one of 12 kids and how her goal in life is to be a missionary. We shared our beliefs about how important and fulfilling it is to help others and I encouraged her to pursue her calling. We talked for about 10 minutes before the rest of the team came in to perform the procedure. All of my worries about the colonoscopy had disappeared, and I no longer hated being there.
When I woke up, she was once again the only one in the room, smiling and greeting me as I came out of the anesthesia. She had great news for me that initially everything looked great and then she smiled and was on her way. I knew right then and there that it was no coincidence that she had been my nurse. Right before I fell asleep I KNEW that I would be taken care of, and that God was in the room with us. From the moment I faced my fear of making conversation and talking about the Bible (I’m always convinced I will sound stupid or become tongue-tied) the energy in the room changed, and even as the burning anesthesia flowed into my veins, I found myself smiling. It was one of those moments when I just KNEW that someone was looking out for me.
You’ll never convince me that this was all just a coincidence. God knew my frustrations over these past few years and how much I dreaded getting yet another test done – especially one like an invasive colonoscopy. He also knew that I have zero confidence making small talk, and that I always second-guess myself. I had completely convinced myself that if I asked her about the story in the Bible, she would say she never read it. Then what would I say? That’s all I could think about — Then what?
But for once I acknowledged the prompting in my heart, I acted out of my comfort zone, and an amazing conversation was born. It lifted my spirits and proved to me that God was right there with me.
I’ve always struggled reading and understanding the Bible, and I’d often find myself avoiding it out of frustration. But lately I have been making a genuine effort to read it consistently. I had been so encouraged while reading Max Lucado’s book, so I think this was God telling me to keep going, and undoubtedly more moments like these will come.
It’s amazing to me how these reminders pop up in the craziest of places, and in the most unsuspecting moments. I’m so grateful that God uses these moments to encourage us exactly how we need it. After all, the tagline for the book is “Courage for Today and Hope for Tomorrow” and that’s exactly what I was given in that moment in the hospital. He tied it all together (the books, the message, and my nurse) to give me courage to speak up, and when I did it strengthened my hope. We just need to be open to the signs and promptings, and as I learned during a colonoscopy of all places, when we are, amazing moments occur.
What’s something that happened in your life that you just knew was not a coincidence? Did you find it encouraging? Looking back can you find examples in your life when something may have seemed like a coincidence, but perhaps was actually a sign?
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