Don’t you love it when you read something that really penetrates your heart, subsequently triggering a wave of thoughts and revelations about your life that you never contemplated before? While reading an essay from a Christmas Bible study by Hannah Brencher, two sentences hit home. She wrote:
You will miss the magic if you don’t look up…You don’t even realize you’re already standing in the once-in-a-lifetime.
I’m not sure why, but those words launched my mind into soul searching mode. Memories from the past few years flooded my thoughts illustrating that God has been teaching me this all along. It was obvious — being sick forced me to look up and ask God for help. In doing so I’ve been able to discover miracles in ordinary moments, and to appreciate and savor the extraordinary ones. There have been many opportunities that I could’ve easily missed, using sickness and fear as an excuse, but something always pushed me forward. I know now that was God.
It’s so easy to get swept away by the chaos of life that we don’t stop to savor all of these once in a lifetime moments. It’s difficult to explain, but in hindsight I see how God was showing me this through my illness. Somehow being faced with physical problems taught me to be grateful because despite all my issues, I was still able to be a part of my family’s adventures. That gratitude slowly opened my eyes to the marvels all around me and changed my mindset.
This past summer, after finally being diagnosed with lupus and colitis only a few months prior to a seven week trip, I learned to embrace gratitude. Often I had to make sacrifices, like staying in the shade when I’d rather be in the sun, being very cautious at the beach to avoid triggering lupus symptoms, or skipping runs because it was too hot. Sometimes I was in pain facing an extremely long and busy day. It was during those frustrating moments though, when I finally decided to ask God for help. He showed me beauty in those moments. Maybe my abilities had changed, but there was still so much to be thankful for — I was on an incredible adventure with my family, and had the opportunity to even BE on the beach with them when I could just as easily stay home.
That’s one of the big changes I’ve seen in myself. Usually I would give up and feel sorry for myself. You’d find me hiding under the blankets convinced God hated me, and that life was terrible. In hindsight I clearly see it was an opportunity for me to ask for help. For once I accepted it. It may seem simplistic and no big deal, but trust me, knowing myself and the mindset I had prior to all of this there’s absolutely no way I could’ve changed any of this myself. There’s definitely something supernatural about it. Somehow I found motivation and refused to give up. I decided that no matter what, I’m going to make the best of my situation.
This is by no means me saying, “Look at me! Look at what I did on my own!” Trust me. I’ve tried to fix everything on my own before and I’ve failed every time. This time there was definitely something else — SOMEONE else — at work. God opened my mind and heart to what’s really important in life. And when I chose to focus on that, that’s when everything changed. I was given the strength and desire to fight and do whatever I had to do in order to be with my family. And despite my circumstances (not feeling well) I was able to savor these experiences with them. I was faced with a choice — give in to the fear and pain or trust God and keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose trust.
The Christmas build up felt different this year as a result. The endless preparation still consumed my mind and time, but I viewed them in a whole new light — because I took the time to stop and look up. By focusing on the actual purpose of Christmas (and why we even have it in the first place), these typically stressful days became extraordinary.
It hit me — The opportunity to buy a gift for a loved one may never happen again. The chance to gather with friends might elude us next year. I was standing in this moment, healthy and alive.
I tried really hard to notice the things around me, wherever I happened to be (store, car, home, running, etc.) that were more special because it was Christmas time.
Just last week, I hurried to mail Christmas cards in the freezing cold. I wanted to get it over with, but when I parked on Main Street, the decorations caught my eye. That ordinary (and annoying) task turned into a once in a lifetime. Instead of jumping back in my car, I took time to notice the storefront and the observation deck overlooking the river. I walked to the edge to marvel at nature. I was reminded of God‘s creativity and power as I watched the water flow mightily around the bend. Peace and gratitude washed over me. It shifted the tone for the rest of my day. Everything seemed a bit brighter.
Paying attention to the signs of Christmas all around me, grounded me and brought me back to gratitude. That mindset transferred to ordinary moments throughout the day.
Perhaps this moment I’m in right now is anything but ordinary.
Just the fact I still have the ability to move my body is something to celebrate.
Each time I step outside to run is an extraordinary moment.
Breathing in fresh air with fluid free lungs, witnessing God‘s creation all around me, and noticing the complexity and diversity of living things is an amazing privilege.
Being able to spend time with my grown kids is something I cherish even more.
The fact that I get to still visit my parents and my childhood house all decorated for Christmas is something I no longer take for granted.
My Christmas prayer is that we can all take more time to stop and consider the privilege of just existing. Whether it’s in a crowded store that we hate, during a marathon gift wrapping session, sitting in traffic during the holiday rush, or arriving home ready to collapse after a stressful day, I hope we all can learn to stop and look up. Embrace that moment to reflect on the ordinary that turned out to be once in a lifetime, simply because we were present.