Time to celebrate because last weekend I finally logged a double digit run! My 10 miler on Sunday is the farthest I’ve run since March 12, 2023 when I ran the Celebrate Life half marathon. That race was my “prove-to-myself-I-can-come-back-from-long-Covid-and-pericarditis” run. It was slow, included more walking than I wanted and was 50 minutes slower than my best half. None of that mattered though, because it was a huge victory for me just to finish. That experience taught me to savor each moment and to let go of my hyper competitiveness. Since then I haven’t run more than 8 miles for a long run. Thankfully, that’s now changed.
Mentally, I was thrilled to hit double digits, but I’m not gonna lie: it hurt way more than I thought it would. However, it resuscitated my motivation which was badly needed. The last few weeks I just haven’t been feeling it. The thought of running and going to the gym felt more like a chore than something I looked forward to. I was starting to get worried that I was stuck.
A few months back I set a goal to run 55K for my 55th birthday. My rut began in December then followed me into January causing me to regret vocalizing that goal. Not only that, but back in November I won a free entry into a local half marathon (thank you Barryville runners!). The initial excitement became buried in my rut as I entertained doubts that were swimming around my brain. How am I ever going to finish a half, let alone a 55K when my muscles and joints hurt all the time? What if it never improves?
The thought of throwing in the towel didn’t sit well with me so last weekend I said screw it, and planned a long run with my friend Caity. In my text to her, I included all the disclaimers — I’ll be super slow, I probably won’t make it, I don’t know if I should come because I don’t want to hold anyone back. She immediately shut down my fears with excitement and encouragement, so I was in.
Maybe God decided to test me because Saturday morning arrived with snow and unplowed roads. Secretly I was relieved but then we decided to postpone it until Sunday. I had one more day to prep (or torture myself with doubts). We met an hour before our club run and just went for it. Even though we ran slow, it was faster than I thought I could handle and it affirmed that I’m way ahead of where I was two years ago. And technically, I haven’t even started training yet. Honestly I felt terrible the last 3 miles, but I’m so glad I kept going. I have Caity and my son and the rest of the runners and walkers out there to thank for that. High fives, words and gestures of encouragement, and simply seeing others out there challenging themselves goes a long way. My spark was reignited.
This week marks the official start of my 10 week half marathon training. I’m thrilled that I have another goal to work toward that is a stepping stone on my journey to 55K. It fits perfectly with my mileage buildup and takes the pressure off of focusing solely on the pipe dream that honestly feels enormous right now. The fact that I won the entry makes it even more special because it feels like it was meant to be.
My only goal for the half is to finish faster than I did in 2023. The last thing I want to do is get sucked back into unrealistic expectations and hyper competitiveness that defined my early running years. Rediscovering my love of running has been a blessing and I’m not going to ruin the fun. For a while, I feared I would never run again, and that taught me to appreciate every subsequent step regardless of how slow or painful it is. There’s beauty and purpose in all of it.
Quite a few people from our run club have already signed up. I’m so excited to share that experience with them. The electrifying energy and nerves that are palpable the morning of a race. The excitement of pinning on my race bib and seeing the race merch for the first time. Watching everyone gather at the start, wondering who will be my pace. The thrill of the unknown. How will I feel? How fast can I go? This is what defines the racing experience for me now, whereas in the past, I’d be consumed by my pace and who was ahead of me. Not anymore! I’m going to savor all of it — the people, scenery, vibe, the fact that I get to run and be a participant, challenging myself, and yes, even the inevitable pain.
If you’ve set an audacious goal for yourself this year, first of all — congratulations! I believe we should challenge ourselves every year with an ambitious yet attainable goal. To make it more fun and less overwhelming, try adding mini goals along your journey to give yourself an opportunity to celebrate your progress, assess where you’re at, and make adjustments. For me, adding the half hasn’t put additional pressure on me. I don’t view it as an extra box on my to do list. It’s something to take my mind off the end goal that at the moment seems out of reach. Ultimately it will keep me moving forward on my journey.
I’m sure I will encounter more hurdles as I train. The single digit temperatures and constant snow have really challenged my motivation. But I keep piling on the layers, setting my alarm and stepping out the door. I won’t say it’s been fun, but it definitely feels great once I’m done and can celebrate that I didn’t give in or allow the speed bumps to win. Every small win is a stepping stone on my journey and all worth celebrating.
What’s your audacious goal for the year? What is a mini goal that you can set to help make the journey more fun and celebratory?
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