Every year, a memory pops up with a picture from the first 10K that I ever ran with my dad. The heat of the day and exhaustion from pushing myself is evident from the grimace on my face, but I also vividly recall the thrill of crossing the finish line to complete a difficult challenge. I’m very fortunate because I had a dad who pushed me and didn’t believe I was weaker or should refrain from sports and competition just because I was a girl.
He coached his school’s first girls team back in the 70s. Throughout his impressive career, they went on to win countless championships and titles. I grew up tagging along at cross country and track meets, where I was inspired by hundreds of girls pushing themselves, breaking boundaries and defying stereotypes. The competitive atmosphere was electrifying so I hoped to be just like them — fast and fearless.
He was also a boys basketball coach so I grew up going to practice with him on weekends and sitting on the bench with the team at games. I had free range to shoot hoops, jump on the wrestling mats and lift weights in the weight room while he conducted practice. I had lots of opportunities to play alongside the boys and it never occurred to me that I was weaker or slower. In fact, up until high school I’d often compete against the guys in running, swimming, tennis, basketball, you name it, and quite often I’d beat them all. (Once puberty happened and my body changed, that changed as well which was frustrating, but that’s a different story!) The point is, I realize how fortunate I was to grow up being exposed to a variety of sports thanks to my parents.
My father was also the director of our summer rec program scheduling activities for us every day, all day long. Looking back, I see how cool it was that as a young girl in my preteens and teens that I competed in triathlons, track meets, 5Ks, 10Ks, tennis tournaments, sailboat races, basketball and volleyball, softball and swim races. These weren’t travel teams or elite competitions, just fun events to keep us busy and active all summer long. I’m sure I didn’t appreciate it as much at the time, because when you’re 13 the last thing you care about is building a strong foundation for your body. But as a 54 year-old perimenopausal woman, I am extremely grateful. I spent all day every day outside, moving and challenging myself. I played every sport possible and was part of many championship teams with people who were like family.
I’ve never scoffed at weights or believed lifting was solely a guy thing. I distinctly remember doing hamstring curls one day after track practice, when suddenly it clicked that lifting weights was making me stronger and a better runner. Although I wasn’t consistent throughout the years, there were several periods in my life when I’d go back to lifting weights. I’m sure that even though it wasn’t ideal, it helped to build a strong foundation. I wish every girl back then had the opportunity to build that foundation.
I think most of us go through periods of inactivity, and we struggle with fitness and body image at times. I did despite all of the opportunities I had. But the 80s were a strange time when diet culture and rail thin supermodels could easily hijack our mindset. I completely understand what it’s like to get lost within diet culture and society’s messaging that girls should take up less space. That derailed me for many years, despite my opportunities. Unfortunately, none of us are immune. But that has lit a fire within me to teach girls — young and old — that those messages are false and we don’t have to buy into them. Together, we can do anything and it’s up to us to lift each other up, share our experiences and support one another. Sports and fitness are the perfect avenue to accomplish this.
Thankfully the benefits of all those opportunities growing up never completely left me and I value them now more than ever. I know firsthand what a difference movement makes in our physical and mental health. I’m well aware of how my body responds when I’m running and lifting compared to when I do nothing. I know how much fun playing sports is. How the swish of the net, contact with a tennis ball, barreling down a mountain on a bike or sprinting around a track unleashes our inner child who thrives from play. It relieves stress, provides connection and camaraderie, strengthens our bones and muscles which ultimately keeps us healthy and young.
I crave nature, sweat, and the muscle soreness that occurs after pushing my body. Thankfully, I have a variety of skills embedded in me that I can draw upon to make that happen. Of course, running and lifting are my sports of choice, but I know at any time I can pick up a basketball or racket, or hop on my bike and have fun thanks to the skills I developed as a kid. Even though many of them are rusty, all it takes is a few shots or swings for muscle memory to kick in and transport me back to my youth.
Sports taught me how to practice new skills and set goals, to push myself in competition, to work alongside teammates, to make commitments and sacrifices in order to get better at something. I wasn’t afraid to try new things, and I learned how to stand my ground and have confidence even competing against the guys.
That’s all shaped me into who I am now. Someone who believes every girl deserves the opportunity, support and encouragement to be strong, to take up and own their space in this world unapologetically. When I was coaching, the majority of coaches were male, but I wasn’t intimidated. I’m not afraid to push limits or to try to keep up with the guys. When I was pregnant with both of my sons, I wasn’t afraid to keep running, which absolutely helped me to naturally deliver two strong and healthy boys, then helped me recover quickly.
I still love all things sports and continue to take inspiration from others out there, pushing their limits and going for it. I’m grateful to have passed on this love to my kids as they find new ways to challenge themselves whether running, mountain biking, or rock climbing. We’ve shared countless adventures like hiking the Grand Canyon, trail running in Boulder, boogie boarding in the ocean, running the boardwalk, or playing disc golf. And it all circles back to the opportunities I was given when I was a kid.
I want all women to feel strong and secure in their bodies. To have the courage to stand up for themselves and defy stereotypes. To embrace strength and movement, not to get smaller, but to confidently dream big and crush their goals no matter what their age.
Getting older definitely has its advantages (even though typically all we hear about are the negatives). The ability to reflect back and discover lessons we may have missed, to focus on the positive things that shape us and to use this wisdom to empower us as we move forward. Now I get to smile at my 13-year-old self running as fast as possible just because I could. And guess what? I still can.
***************
Were you involved in sports growing up? What was your experience like? Are you still involved in sports and fitness? What wisdom would you pass down to younger generations?
