Every once in a while, we all need a wake up call. Mine came yesterday as my son destroyed me in an impromptu game of tennis. A friendly tennis match on a beautiful day is something I’m truly thankful for, however, by the time it was over I was disheartened. Obviously I’m not a skilled tennis player, but when I was younger I could definitely hold my own. Those memories of my youth inspired me to start smack talking on the ride to the park. I really believed there was a possibility that I could win. Even though he’s just as competitive as me, I had way more experience. The fact that he didn’t even know how to keep score boosted my confidence (and fired up my trash talk!). But I never thought he’d humble me with a complete shut out that left me questioning everything.
Before the first ball was even served, I was tired. An hour earlier I ran 5 miles which totally wiped me out. By the end of the run, I was exhausted and frustrated because I planned to run eight, but I just didn’t have three more miles in me. Maybe it was because I didn’t sleep that well. Perhaps I wasn’t fully recovered from the previous three days of lifting and running. Maybe my cycle had something to do with it. All of these were valid culprits as well as a reason for me to give myself some grace. But of course I didn’t and instead, I was annoyed at myself and wondered if this was my new normal.
As we volleyed and I attempted to gracefully chase the ball around the court, reality set in with a hoard of questions that assaulted my mind. Where had the spring in my step gone? Why was my reaction time so pitiful? Why was I suddenly lamenting my childhood as I tried to quickly change direction on the court? Why were my shoulders already sore from trying to nail a backhand? Why was I continually misjudging the ball? Before long I felt old and out of shape. Fear that my son would regret his invitation to play engulfed me. I clearly wasn’t the player I had hyped myself up to be.
Part of the problem was that I expected my body to jump back into something I hadn’t practiced in a very long time. To think I could just pick up a racquet in my mid 50s and play like I did as a teenager was unrealistic. Naturally our bodies change as we age, especially in perimenopause, which I obviously understand. But sometimes our knowledge doesn’t sink in until we are personally put to the test. Despite all the facts I’m well aware of, I allowed myself to believe I could get away with neglecting certain things because I run and I know my cardiovascular system is in excellent shape. After all, I ran 34 miles last summer. (Yes, I will bring that up whenever I get the chance!) The key to realizing that goal was months of training my body to do just that. But for years I’ve been neglecting the types of movement that produce power and agility. I rarely sprint or jump. I don’t really play. Is it any surprise that my body responded the way it did?
Even though the wake up call sucked in the moment, it was necessary. It provided a clear message that all of us need to pay attention to, especially if we’re over 40. It’s no secret we lose muscle mass, strength, power, and bone density as we age. The threat of osteoporosis is real and so is the risk of fractures as we get older. But we have the power of prevention on our side! We can even reverse the damage if we’re willing to work at it. Perhaps many of us don’t have any aspirations to beat our kids in racquet sports or to play in a basketball league or win a race. But none of us want to lose our quality of life or the ability to move, so this is not something any of us should take for granted.
We need to be able to recruit our muscles and react quickly so we don’t fall. We need strong bones that won’t shatter if we trip. Did you know that if we fracture a hip over the age of 50 we have a one and three chance of dying within the first year after the fracture? That’s no joke. But how many of us actually believe it will happen to us?
The tennis match proved that just because I run and lift doesn’t mean I’m not at risk. I need to switch things up. Otherwise, I’m clearly going to continue to get slower, less explosive and agile, and my muscles and bones will suffer. Not only do I risk losing the ability to have fun with my kids and grandkids, but I’m increasing the chances of them having to take care of me because I can no longer move well or carry things myself. Is that a burden I’m willing to place on them?
My mind still believes I should be able to do all the sports I loved as a kid, and do them just as well. Reality insists I have work to do. Initially that bummed me out and I wanted to ignore it and keep my fingers crossed for the future. The truth is, though, it’s absolutely possible to improve from the point I’m at today. It will take time and intention and patience, but isn’t having the ability to enjoy all those things worth it? Heck yeah it is!
Our modern lives don’t make it easy. Every day we do our bodies a massive disservice. We lead mostly sedentary lives, stare at screens for hours at a time, rely on technology for everything, spend too much time indoors, drive everywhere, eat fake food, isolate ourselves behind screens, and choose comfort at all costs. We’d rather binge watch Netflix while lying on the couch, instead of walking around the neighborhood after dinner or stretching so we don’t seize up. I’m guilty of all of it, and the impact is real. Because of our modern lifestyle we have to be intentional about running, lifting, sprinting, jumping, hopping, balancing, and stretching so we retain those abilities. Our daily lives don’t cut it anymore. We don’t allow our bodies to do what they were designed to do, so they deteriorate. Use it or lose it is not just a cute catchphrase!
Don’t you want to retain or regain those skills? I do. And not just so I have a chance to win a game (although there will definitely be a grudge match after I get some more practice in), but to feel empowered about strengthening my skills and body. There’s a sweet satisfaction that occurs with running faster or bench pressing a weight I previously couldn’t budge, or developing responsiveness and agility. Progression is so gratifying, especially when we recognize it means we are reversing damage, decreasing risk and building a stronger body.
I admit, I took for granted that I was just going to be able to run around and play whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. After all, I run 5 to 6 days a week and I follow a solid weightlifting routine. Those two things are absolutely necessary and beneficial, but they’re not enough. Perhaps it means running one less day and using that time to add exercises that will provide more impact for building bone and regaining muscle power and explosiveness. Adding these to my routine might seem daunting, but it’s actually not. What’s really daunting is the possibility of injury or not being able to move well or live on my own in 20 years. Focusing on these skills will not only improve my running, but it will protect my body against injury as well. It’s actually a very exciting and empowering opportunity!
I hope my wake up call will be yours as well. We all age and if we are a woman, we all go through menopause. That’s inevitable. Being immobile, weak and frail is not.
What’s one area you can focus on this week? Have you had any wake up calls lately? What is your body currently trying to tell you?
If you have questions, please reach out!