Along the journey to an audacious goal, hurdles and setbacks threaten to derail us, often provoking doubt in our progress and abilities. The fear of such obstacles often prevents me from aiming high (or even at all). Ironically, the hurdles always show up and setbacks happen anyway, but they ultimately strengthen me. However, I still get frustrated and find myself questioning everything. Especially lately as it seems like the universe is determined to hurl obstacles along my path to a 55K.

I’m not sure why but I’ve suddenly been bombarded by hot flashes — often on my runs. The only saving grace is that the temperature has been hovering around FRIGID, so a sudden burst of heat isn’t always the end of the world. The overwhelming sensation of flames engulfing my body makes the cold air bearable at the start of a run, but toward the end when I’m already sweating, well, that’s another story.

Thanks to the hormonal chaos in my body, I’m perpetually stiff and sore. Foam rollers and lacrosse balls litter the floor in front of the TV reminding me to get off the couch and take care of myself. As I roll and massage the knots out of my legs I find myself asking Why can’t I just feel good without having to do all these extras? In other words, can I just go back to being 30? When I’m done I always feel better, but I still struggle to embrace it.

When the windchill is -4° with the howling wind rattling my windows in the early morning darkness, I dread leaving my house. Drudgery replaced the fun factor weeks ago. Due to dangerous windchill and road conditions we’ve been forced to cancel several group runs and mentally it’s taking a toll. My hands completely froze during an 8 miler last week. I’ve run in much colder conditions wearing the same gloves, yet this time my hands went totally numb. When sensation returned, the pain was excruciating. Ever since then I dread running in the cold.

I prepare as best as I can with two pairs of socks, two bottom layers, several up top, along with a face mask, hat, gloves, and maybe even a vest for good measure. I’m so well prepared that I often overheat on the drive to meet my friends.(God help me if I have a hot flash too!) As the wind threatens to blow my car off the road I wonder what the heck I’m doing. Afterwards, I’m forced to conquer the mountain of laundry I just created for myself. When my entire family runs in the cold, the amount of sweaty clothes that cover the laundry room is almost comical (until I actually decide to tackle it, then it’s no longer funny).

Regardless of the weather or time of day, the 1st mile of every run hurts. My joints protest, I worry that my feet will act up as the ache in my perpetually tight muscles triggers doubt about my ability to even finish. Thankfully, I’ve learned to just keep going because as I warm up, my body loosens and most of the aches subside.

Even the gym has been a challenge for me. The first few sets suck, requiring extra effort. Eventually, though, as my heart rate increases and I break a sweat, I remember why I’m there. I glance in the mirror and remind myself how far I’ve come. I know my bones and muscles will thank me for building and strengthening them. They’re too precious to lose, therefore I keep going.

Despite these annoying hindrances (and yes-I realize they could be much worse), once I start to warm up, the world (and my outlook) seems brighter. The wind is no longer my enemy, but a challenge that earns me bragging rights for the rest of the day. Despite our numb faces, the conversation flows, pulling me out of my misery. Encouragement from others as they pass by energizes me and I savor the fact that I’m not alone. With frozen fingers, I pause to snap pictures of the chunks of ice floating on the water. Gratitude takes hold as I realize how lucky I am to witness this. Would I even notice on just an ordinary day?

Most of the time I drive home smiling from knowing that I completed a challenge that will benefit my heart, lungs, muscles, joints, and state of mind. I remind myself that this is just a season (although it seems like the longest, coldest winter ever!). The snow, negative temperatures and forced treadmill runs won’t last forever. Neither will the aches and pains, even though I often find myself doubting.

During the menopause transition women are likely to experience symptoms such as: sleep issues, hot flashes, migraines, mood fluctuations, brain fog, joint and muscle pain, inflammation, increased cardiovascular risk, changing body composition, loss of bone and muscle mass, and G.I. issues. Research has shown that exercise (cardio PLUS strength) has a positive effect on all of these. Knowing that is empowering. I realize I could feel much worse so I’m grateful I can still run most days. Being active really does help.

Of course, I’d prefer instant gratification. How great would it be to go for a run that immediately cures everything? But then mental toughness, perseverance, and gratitude wouldn’t have a chance to shine. My faith, attitude and determination has grown tremendously these past few years and it’s only because I was faced with so many obstacles.

I set an extremely challenging goal for myself this year. The relentless winter weather along with myriad perimenopause symptoms often causes me to question what the heck I’m doing. Being stuck inside intensifies my negative thinking and self-doubt while stealing my motivation. But then I remember I’m not alone. There are countless women my age facing similar obstacles and they’re out there pushing through and crushing it. I’m fortunate to run with women like this, and knowing we’re in the same boat lessens the sting. 

This particular season may be especially challenging, but we’re still moving forward. When I manage to leave my pity party, I’m reminded of the progress I’ve made — fat loss, muscle gain and increased strength, decreased brain fog, decreased inflammation, and normal blood tests for the past year. These are all reasons to celebrate. More importantly, they are reminders to keep pushing through the discomfort while giving myself grace. Each time I run, lift, roll and stretch, I’m taking care of my body and it’s all going to pay off. It already is.

So if you are frustrated, unmotivated, or full of doubts, I hope you find comfort knowing you aren’t alone. It may be challenging right now, but pushing through is going to make you stronger and healthier in the long run. The research confirms it. Keep going, focus on one day at a time and be proud of yourself for choosing to be strong. I promise it will pay off! (And spring is right around the corner. It has to be!).