While suffering through yet another long run during the summer of 2021, I had an idea… start writing a blog about what I was experiencing physically and mentally due to peri menopause. Selfishly, it would just be a useful tool in tracking my strange and progressively worsening symptoms. I’m a lifelong runner, am very active and along with my family (husband and two teenage boys)  I have been plant based for almost 15 years. Needless to say I was extremely frustrated to be struggling so much on my runs and feeling like I’d aged 10 years overnight. With a plan to write in mind, I began keeping a detailed log of how I was feeling every day. Little did I know how helpful it would be a few months later when I found myself laying in a hospital bed listening to a cardiologist explain my diagnosis of pericarditis and mentally preparing myself for a procedure to have the fluid drained from around my heart.

After what I’ve gone through the last three months I’ve decided to shift the focus of this blog because in hindsight it seems so obvious that all my experiences and note taking happened for a reason, which is now so much more than perimenopause.

My heart ordeal began in September when sharp chest and abdominal pains had me doubled over on the way home from a concert.  They subsided for a day or two, then returned with a vengeance prompting me to go to the emergency room because I was convinced I was having a heart attack. Hours later I was sent home armed with laxatives to relieve my “constipation”  (even though I told them I’ve been having diarrhea for two months.)  Two subsequent trips to the ER with severe chest pain, nausea, dizziness, and shortness of breath resulted in the same conclusion: being sent home due to my EKG and chest X-ray looking normal. The third trip was so disheartening because the doctor actually asked me what my deal was then rolled his eyes and dismissed me. 

The following day my husband fought to get me an appointment with a cardiologist. Thankfully they ordered an echocardiogram and found fluid around my heart. Relief that I wasn’t crazy washed over me but I was also shocked that I actually had something wrong with my heart. I was prescribed ibuprofen to deal with the inflammation and the cardiologist instructed me to go to the ER immediately if the pain worsened. Initially it improved, but then out of the blue the sharp pain returned to the point where I almost passed out.  Reluctantly I went to a different ER where this time they took me seriously because I told them I had been to a cardiologist.  I was transferred to another hospital to have the fluid drained because it had increased significantly, my pulse was very rapid (in the 90s as opposed to my usual 50s), my blood pressure and oxygen levels were dangerously low and I was in excruciating pain unable to breathe deeply.

After three days I was discharged on prednisone and colchicine with follow-up appointments scheduled to try and figure out the cause of the pericarditis. As of this moment, after 2 hospitalizations and seeing countless doctors I still have no definitive answers. Several doctors think it may be a result of having had Covid last spring, although a Lupus diagnosis is not off the table.  Reading through my journal I can clearly see how many of the symptoms that I blew off (attributing them to perimenopause) began when I had Covid and got progressively worse throughout the summer and fall. Often I’d write things like “Something is wrong with my entire body.” “My whole body feels swollen.”  I would constantly complain of terrible fatigue, especially after long runs where I’d have to take walk breaks — something I would normally never have to do. Reflecting on the last few months it seems pretty obvious to me that covid had something to do with my current condition– after all, viruses are a typical cause of pericarditis. But I am not a doctor and definitely not an expert. In a week I will begin tapering the steroids and get more blood work to see if any symptoms return.

The most frustrating part is not knowing for sure what caused this.  I went from running double digit miles to now being restricted to walking. My hope in sharing all this is to find others who have dealt with the same issues, regardless of the cause, share what I’m learning and how it’s affecting daily life. For now I have decided to do everything in my power to prevent it from happening again. Personally I find it so much easier to be consistent and focused if I share my intentions, otherwise I’m less apt to follow through. My immediate priority and goal is to keep the inflammation down. The steroids are doing their job, but it needs to be done without them, so even though I’ve been plant-based for 15 years and eat healthier than the standard diet, I realize I have a lot of cleaning up to do. And that’s a big task. I’m also completely starting over as far as running goes. I’ve never been restricted to walking and already I’m learning a lot about myself so I’m going to put it all out there to hold myself accountable and keep myself motivated to learn, share and take action.

 I’ve been researching how to reduce and prevent inflammation and strengthen my immune system. I feel compelled to share what I’m learning and implementing with others because after all, not everyone is dealing with pericarditis, however, inflammation in general is a hot topic now and believed to be the underlying cause of countless chronic illnesses. And let’s face it, I bet we can all admit we have room to improve when it comes to making healthy choices and taking care of ourselves.

My goal is to commit to a healthier lifestyle and share what I’m learning and experiencing because I know there are plenty of people out there struggling, and regardless of diagnosis I know we can all learn from, support, and inspire each other. Thank you for joining me on this unexpected journey and whatever you are facing, always remember…you are never alone! 

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               “Be strong. Be brave. Be fearless. You are never alone.” Joshua 1:9.