Having a chronic illness, with symptoms occurring in unpredictable cycles, has been extremely frustrating. However, despite all the uncertainty and trials, I have taken steps that have been very helpful in dealing with the frustration. I love it because these seemingly small changes have strengthened me mentally. My typically negative mindset has shifted, which I’m so grateful for because it has grown me as a person in all facets of my life.
I’ve been proactive in learning about my body and my symptoms as well as what it’s going through in perimenopause. It’s very empowering to understand what my body is experiencing and why. Even though the doctors have yet to give me a definitive diagnosis, (but agree with me that it’s like a perfect storm of long haul and perimenopause that may or may not have triggered something else) everything I’m learning is helping me to minimize the symptoms. Instead of passively sitting back believing that I have no control, or blindly accepting that “this is it”, or that it’s “all downhill from here”, or that I’m “just getting old”, I choose not to buy into that antiquated mindset that only leaves us feeling powerless and hopeless. An empowered mindset changes everything.
I’ve come to terms with starting over. Starting over definitely sucks, but it’s motivated me to approach my fitness differently — especially since I’m getting older. I’m focused on rebuilding my foundation and all of the little things that I never really paid attention to before like strength and mobility. It’s an exciting new adventure which has helped me to remain consistent because I’m curious to see how my body reacts over time.
I stopped watching the news and we got rid of our satellite TV. Now whenever I watch TV, I choose to watch podcasts and documentaries featuring inspirational people and stories that are uplifting. It’s such a relief to not be bombarded with drama, politics, and hate. Occasionally, I’ll check the local news so I’m not completely clueless about what’s going on in the world, but even for that short time, I often sense the anxiety creeping in, so I keep it minimal. Unnecessary stress is something my body can’t afford to be bombarded with. I’ve definitely noticed a difference in my peace of mind since making this move.
I have embraced gratitude. On a regular basis I ask myself what’s really important. Is it how I look? My overall fitness? Is it my relationships and family? How do I want to spend my energy? Do I want to beat myself up because of a number on the scale and waste my mental energy on being upset because my body is struggling right now, or do I want to focus on things that are less self centered? Answering these questions honestly has helped keep my priorities in check.
Whenever possible I sit by my stream or walk through the woods and pray. I find it difficult to really focus on prayer otherwise. My mind wanders. I’m easily distracted, and quite honestly I rarely feel connected to God unless I’m surrounded by nature. I’m good at going through the motions but that doesn’t grow a relationship. There’s something magical and inspiring about listening to the flowing water and looking at the sky through the trees that instantly connects me to God. Since I’ve been making a conscious effort to do this more often, I’ve noticed His presence more throughout the day and I find myself seeking it. It makes everything I’m dealing with seem like less of a big deal and more like a reminder that I have countless things to be grateful for.
While I was lying in a hospital bed wide awake one night, listening to the annoying beeps of heart monitors, and the distant groans from neighboring patients, the harsh realization that “this is it” washed over me. Out of the blue it all sunk into my core — I have ONE life. ONE chance on this earth. Am I living it to the fullest, because there is no do over. When the severity of that smacked me in the face, I vowed to do whatever it takes to foster a healthy mind and body so I can have the energy and ability to thrive for as long as I can. And I didn’t want to take care of myself for selfish reasons. I wanted to so that I could take care of others better and that became my resolve.
No matter how terrible our situations are, there is always something to be grateful for, and there’s always the opportunity to change our mindset. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been notorious for choosing the negative mindset throughout my life and unfortunately, it’s taken sickness and struggle to teach me that there’s a better way. Sometimes it just takes one small step forward to set the right things in motion. It’s not easy and it takes practice, but it’s so worth it. Choose one small step you can take today to carve a new path. Every step forward is a victory!
What are some things you’ve done to get through a difficult time? Have you found it challenging to choose a positive mindset? What strategies have you implemented that have helped you choose positive over the negative?