It’s the night before starting the Goodbye Lupus Protocol ( basically a raw, whole foods, plant based diet) and I’m feeling extremely weird and emotional. At our favorite restaurant today I couldn’t even finish my meal. Halfway through, I got so tired and full while a wave of panic threatened to take hold of me. Perhaps I was worried about the looming farewell to all of this delicious food that I love. After all, this is what we love to do – search for Great Vegan food and make adventures out of it. I don’t want to give that up!
There’s also the fear of what’s to come. Can I actually do it? Will it work? How hard will it be? Is it possible to break the addiction, both emotionally and physically, to all of this delicious processed food I’ve grown to love?
These last two weeks, I really let loose allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted while disregarding the consequences, knowing I had a future starting date in mind. So, each day I woke up relieved to not care about what I put into my body. Instead I sat and read or watched and fantasized about being super healthy and healed, without actually having to make any sort of sacrifice. Meanwhile, I gained weight and felt worse each day.
It was like I was on a quest to see how shitty I could get myself to feel just by eating poorly. Maybe subconsciously I was prepping myself to truly test everything I’ve always believed to be true. Can drastically changing my diet truly heal my body, even when doctors scoff and tell me there’s no cure? Can I actually become one of the success stories? Can I overcome my utter fear of failure, and actually embrace something wholeheartedly and live out what I fantasize about every day?
After eating a ton of processed and junk food these last few weeks with a lot less fresh vegetables and fruits that I normally eat, I can honestly report that my body feels worse. I’m more sluggish physically, and unmotivated mentally. It’s easier to talk myself out of running, because I don’t want to face how my body is reacting. My sleep has been poor and inconsistent. My entire body aches more and more with each passing day.
Both my husband and I have joint and muscle pain that we can’t explain — well not entirely. Lupus is a factor for me, but he’s been dealing with unexplained symptoms since Covid as well and his doctors have no answers. Since we’re both dealing with weird autoimmune issues, the one thing we know for sure is, our bodies are inflamed. And after eating poorly for the last few weeks, we both agree it’s gotten worse.
For two people who are active and for the most part eat healthier than the majority and have a history of healthy check ups and blood work, this is definitely not OK. We often look at each other after grunting while standing up or getting out of bed and wonder how the heck we could feel like we’ve each aged 30 years practically overnight?
My two years of bouncing around to specialists (rheumatologist, cardiologist, neurologist, ER, staff, hospital, staff) have been frustrating to say the least. Sure I no longer have fluid around my heart and in my lungs, causing excruciating pain. I’ve managed to keep running, and to taper down from three medications to only one. That seems to be good enough for the doctors and basically in their book this is just how it’s always going to be. Sorry but that doesn’t cut it for me. I truly don’t believe that “this is it.”
My husband has had several rheumatologist appointments and bloodwork done (at a totally different doctor and practice then I go to) but the story is mostly the same. They can’t quite pinpoint it. However, it hasn’t stopped them from offering all kinds of prescriptions, some being just a shot in the dark that also come with serious side effects. Of course, neither one of us is comfortable with that.
So because our fear of change no longer outweighs our discomfort (thank you, Rich Roll!) we decided to go completely outside the box and try to help ourselves with nutrition. It’s only fitting, I’ve been studying this stuff for 15 years. We both believe in the power of nutrition so it’s obviously worth a shot. I got rid of terrible migraines by going vegan 15 years ago so I have a pretty good track record. We can’t ignore it. Our bodies are crying out.
They need tools to repair and that’s what we’re going to give them. Even if it doesn’t cure us there’s no risk. Nobody can argue that eating more vegetables is a bad thing or that sugar and processed food is unhealthy. We don’t like to admit it because then we’d have to change, but deep down we all know it’s true and it’s been proven over and over. To us, that’s much more appealing than drug trial and error.
In hindsight, I can see very subtle signs of lupus that I never really attributed to anything, especially since they never morphed into something more serious. But I think after dealing with a serious virus, my immune system rebelled, and I could no longer keep it in check. It was all too much.
So now that our bodies have decided to rebel, it’s time to take charge and take care of them. My doctors have kind of written me off since I now have a diagnosis (one they deem incurable and doomed for a lifetime of meds and keeping our fingers crossed). But I’ve done my obsessive research and I know that does not need to be the case. I’ve read countless books and heard tons of testimonies from people who reversed their autoimmune disease with nutrition and lifestyle changes. They may seem drastic, but isn’t taking all kinds of pills that may or may not work and bring along serious side effects and don’t actually cure anything pretty drastic too?
I’m so hopeful and grateful for all the doctors who are writing books and involved in research so that we can treat the underlying cause. More and more people are realizing that there are better answers than simply popping a pill and changing nothing. Honestly, I wish I could just take a pill and have it go away so that I can keep doing whatever I want. But our bodies weren’t designed to be filled with chemicals and fake food and to sit around all day. We need to be proactive and take charge of our health.
Sure there’s a possibility that this can’t be cured. Sure it’s going to require sacrifice and changes. But nothing worth doing is ever easy. I’m excited to share our journey as I battle lupus and my husband battles his autoimmune mystery. Whatever the outcome, I believe it’s worth sharing so people in our shoes (and I know there are tons of others out there), can hopefully learn something and be motivated to take charge of their health!