Was it really only three years ago that, practically overnight, I went from running 4 to 5 miles a day to struggling to walk a mile without chest pain, labored breathing, and legs that felt like Jell-O? I’ve definitely come a long way since then, but it hasn’t been a smooth progression and I’m still not where I want to be.
Last week, on my three year anniversary of being discharged from the hospital after my heart procedure, I followed up with my rheumatologist to discuss recent blood work that would hopefully explain the chronic foot pain that suddenly stopped me in my tracks this summer. Thankfully, all of my tests were negative and within normal range. He had no earth shattering insights to share and sent me on my way telling me to keep doing whatever it is I’m doing. After all, I am running more and the pain is less intense. As usual, he had no diagnosis for me because according to my blood, there’s no disease. We both seemed satisfied with blaming the insanity of the last 36 months on long Covid and agreed that only time will tell.
Obviously that’s good news, but what about the excruciating foot pain and swelling that occurred over the summer, forcing me to stop running for over a month (and just as I was starting to feel good and run faster)? Well, it could’ve been an autoimmune flare. It could be sore tendons and joints from perimenopause. Perhaps the long hours of driving followed by long hours of standing triggered something? Maybe I was stressed and it all settled in my muscles, causing them to seize up and work against me. Will I ever really know?
I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised if I told you that the worst part was not being able to run. Being forced to take time off messes with my mind. Resting and being patient is not my strong suit, so I tried everything I could think of to relieve the pain. I gauged success on whether or not I could run. Up until mid September I was unsuccessful.
Fast forward to now, mid October, and I’m thrilled to report I’ve been running consistently for a month. The pain isn’t completely gone, but it’s tolerable and it is not constant. In fact, some days it’s practically gone.
So what did the trick and brought me out of my misery?
At first it was meds. The pain that accompanied every step I took frustrated me beyond belief, so I was desperate for relief. My doctor prescribed Celebrex (an NSAID) which helped take the edge off. Walking became tolerable. Shortly after though I discovered trigger point therapy, which has been a game changer.
My chiropractor uses this technique as part of her treatment that has relieved muscle pain for me in the past. But it never occurred to me to try it for foot pain. I bought a book (of course) and started experimenting on myself. I noticed multiple areas in my calves, glutes and hamstrings that had strange, tight nodules on them that were super sore to the touch. After massaging and pressing in on these areas a few times a day, I noticed the tightness and pain in my feet immediately released. (Read up on how it works. It’s so cool!) I diligently worked on these areas and within a few days was back to running. Soon the foam roller and lacrosse ball became my best friends. Celebrex was no longer necessary.
Walking around barefoot as much as possible, especially outside in the grass, is much more comfortable than wearing shoes. (I’m dreading the winter when I can no longer feel the earth beneath my feet and I’m forced to wear shoes more often. But I’m trying not to dwell on that). Every pair of shoes I own (yes, they’re mostly running shoes) hurt my feet after an extended period of time and I can’t wait to kick them off. The pain is significantly less after freeing my feet. I also bought a pair of tempo trainers that have minimal cushion. Now when I have to wear shoes I am able to walk or stand around for a much longer period of time before my feet start to rebel.
Once September hit, I was unsure about running with my run club, but I forced myself to go, knowing I could at least walk. Before long I realized that the pain was less noticeable and more tolerable when I was with my group. Turns out, great conversation is the perfect distraction which naturally causes me to run more relaxed. This became obvious to me as I was running alone one day when both feet started throbbing only a mile in. I fixated on every single step I took, analyzing and worrying about the pain. The more I focused on it, the worse it hurt.
I’ve been testing this theory, and without a doubt the pain is more apparent when my thoughts are negative. I also notice my muscles tightening which causes a vicious cycle of worry and fear in my mind. Running with others, getting lost in my surroundings and reassuring myself that I can keep going seems to do the trick. Occasionally, I’ll stop to stretch or massage a muscle and then I’m good to go.
I’m hopeful that this is the tail end of whatever I’ve been dealing with these past few years. Will I ever know for sure what caused everything? Probably not. That’s bothering me less these days though. I’m grateful that these episodes of weird and debilitating symptoms have been fewer and farther between. The darker days have made me truly appreciate the brighter ones. I’ll admit that when I couldn’t run this summer while traveling, I got sucked into negativity. But it turned into an important reminder that I possess the power to choose how to handle a set back. For a while, I chose to be pissed at my circumstances and I felt sorry for myself, often thinking Why me? What more could possibly happen? This is so unfair.
Then I realized that being on the road with my family was a gift. I could either remain trapped in misery, and likely face regret once it was over, or I could let go of it and trust that God had a plan. Once I decided to let go of my negativity, the pain was less debilitating, and before I knew it the answers started appearing.
Of course, I would love it if God snapped his fingers making all of this disappear, never to return. But I know myself too well. Maybe my pain would have vanished, but I never would’ve learned to be grateful, more trusting, and appreciative of the things that really matter in life. I wouldn’t have been open to the natural ways to relieve my stress and take care of myself better. Without being forced to slow down, I never would have experienced growth. No one likes pain or struggle, but if you think about it, aren’t they the best teachers?
What lessons have YOU learned after going through a struggle?
My lessons from this last round of issues:
I can’t ignore the basics – foam rolling, stretching, trigger point therapy, letting things go.
Being in contact with nature is therapeutic both emotionally and physically.
Ruminating on negative thoughts stresses the body, causes tension, and eventually pain.
Holding on to negative emotions only hurts us in the long run.
Our minds are more powerful than we think.
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