A big misconception is that you need to be motivated to get rolling. You don’t. Research shows that motivation follows action, not the other way around. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance at feeling good. – Brad Stulberg
This has quickly become my favorite quote because it speaks directly to something I constantly struggle with — motivation and getting started.
I’ve never been one to jump out of bed, ready and willing to take on the day. Even if what awaits me is something I’ve been looking forward to forever, the first thing I sense when I move into consciousness is dread. For as long as I can remember, just waking up and getting out of bed has been a chore. I also struggle with the fear of failure, so no matter how much I’m looking forward to something or how much prep I’ve put into something, when the time comes to finally take action I usually experience paralysis. The first step is not only inherently difficult for me, but it genuinely freaks me out. So when it’s time to get moving I rarely ever FEEL like it and more often than not I’m also afraid that if I do take that first step, I’m probably going to fail somehow.
This morning was a true test. I didn’t feel like running for a whole slew of reasons. Instead of remaining frozen by the argument in my head that threatened to pull me under, I decided to just get up and do a few simple tasks around the house to see where that would leave me. Laundry seemed more doable than running so I told myself to get up and just focus on putting clothes in the washer.
Half an hour later, I was on a roll. The laundry was started along with several other things on my list. I felt accomplished and motivated. I realized that I still had plenty of time to run so I told myself to just get dressed. The next thing I knew I was fully dressed, strapping on my watch and lacing up my shoes. The momentum was really rolling by now. By this point, the battle with the back-and-forth in my mind had died down, and I wasn’t worried about where I was going or for how long – I was just looking forward to the act of running and proud of myself for getting out there.
The coolest part was once I started running, I no longer wanted to limit myself. Instead of dwelling on all that could go wrong or how tired I was feeling, I was able to get out of my head and into the environment. The sky was gorgeous, the river was high and flowing fast, and I would’ve missed out on all of it if I had stayed bogged down in my head.
Thanks to Brad Stulberg’s research, I’m relieved to see that this is actually a real thing that many others experience. That takes a huge weight off my shoulders. I used to think I was just inherently lazy and unmotivated. Shouldn’t I be able to simply force myself to think differently every morning? I was convinced I possessed a terrible character flaw that made me too weak to change. This quote made me realize that it was very different (and I was very different) once I started moving — my mindset and motivation would BECOME more positive as soon as I took a step and started moving. What a relief to learn I’m not fatally flawed after all!
Constantly disappointed in myself and feeling like a failure because I didn’t wake up motivated kept me trapped in a never ending cycle of self defeat. Quite often that would set the tone for my day, especially if I gave in and chose to skip my run (or any activity) because it overwhelmed me. Regret and guilt would consume me because I thought I had failed.
When I am faced with a task – whether big or small, something I’m dreading or looking forward to — I spend way too much time in my head contemplating the pros and cons, trying to predict and prepare for every possible scenario. It’s a side effect of my tendency toward perfectionism, and it can be exhausting. Even for something as simple as a run, I can paralyze myself by trying to figure out the best route, time, distance, the conditions outside, etc. in order to have the perfect run. It often exhausts me mentally before I’m even dressed. This destroys any chance I have to actually be motivated and easily kills the desire to get going. I need to just get going to give myself a chance!
Now that I know there’s science behind this process, I’m not a complete failure for experiencing it, and there are proven strategies to deal with this, it’s much easier to contend with. Reminding myself of this quote and how I’ve experienced it to be true over and over has been a game changer. When I catch myself dwelling on how I’m currently feeling and debating what I should do, that’s my cue to just get moving! Whatever that first step is, I tell myself to just do the very next thing: Get out of bed, put on my shoes, open the door, stand on the porch, etc. It doesn’t matter where I run, or what I have to do two hours from now, or whether I actually think I can do it, or want to do it. All that matters is the next second. Once I’ve completed that very first step I feel successful, and from there the motivation builds.
Or if I think of it in terms of faith, I can imagine God standing right in front of me, holding out his hand just waiting for me to stand up and grab on. Once I’ve taken hold of his hand, he gladly strengthens me and it’s much easier to keep moving. I have to remember that he’s not going to force me though. I have to take the first step then I’m rewarded and encouraged by the power of his presence that I’ve said yes to. Picturing this makes that first step easier.
I’ve been trying for 50 years to convince myself to just “BE MORE MOTIVATED.” I’m still waiting for the day that I WAKE UP ready. Now, instead of beating myself up about it, all I have to do is tell myself to take one step or grab on. Then I can let the momentum do the rest. Take it from me —- memorize that quote, take the first step and find out where it can take you! It’s so empowering!