This holiday season I was faced with a difficult choice. I could continue following the raw vegan nutrition protocol I had embarked on to reverse my lupus, or I could indulge for a few days and hope for no adverse effects. I opted for the latter. After all, I couldn’t fathom Christmas without certain foods and treats. How much damage could a few days of unhealthy food actually do?
Food can be a touchy subject, especially when you choose to eat differently. Leading up to Christmas, social media inundated me with mixed messages. Every other reel showcased a delicious dessert recipe that made my mouth water and convinced me that it wouldn’t be Christmas without them. Nutritionists urged people to make healthy choices and shared ways to do so (that didn’t seem very festive!). Mental health experts encouraged us to resist labeling foods “good” or “bad” and to simply enjoy eating. Influencers shared routines to burn off excess calories, while others reminded us that a few days of treats and skipped workouts wouldn’t kill us.
I wrestled with these viewpoints, because deep down, I wanted to do the right thing for my body. Depending on my mood, all the mindsets seemed “correct”.
Also weighing in on the debate in my head were thoughts of people who think my current diet is too healthy or too restrictive – even though my nutrition was thoroughly researched and planned for the purpose of healing my autoimmune disease. I didn’t want anyone to label me as uptight, obsessed, or a Scrooge. Truth be told, I also really wanted to eat Christmas cookies free from worry.
Whether to indulge over Christmas might seem like a silly thing to worry about to most people, but it was a big deal to me because I recently found out that my lupus was gone after following a raw vegan diet for three months. Why would I mess with that?
I knew that eventually I would be able to re-introduce certain foods (as most people do on this protocol) so I was curious to see how my body would react. Why not try it over the holidays? That was how I ultimately rationalized my decision to indulge for a few days.
I refrained from total gluttony, and tried my best to eat as many veggies as I could prior to each holiday meal. But switching from a raw vegetable packed, super clean diet to a few days of Chinese food, desserts, ziti, processed vegan meats, and treats definitely impacted how I felt — and not in a good way. It was eye-opening to experience just how powerful our food choices are.
By the end of the second day I felt like an addict as I fought cravings for processed and sauce laden food. The more I ate the more I wanted, but the less satisfied I was. Choosing the healthier options became increasingly difficult as my self control slowly faded. The desserts, bread, dip and heavy pasta flipped a switch in my brain that convinced me I needed more. I recognized there was a problem when at 9 o’clock one night I was stuffed, bloated, tired and irritable staring down a piece of leftover pie. Despite how I felt I wolfed it down anyway because it was so damn delicious. I was not hungry. I did not feel well, but I gave in anyway because after all, it was Christmas.
After only a few days I woke up tired with my brain engulfed in fog. I grew more emotional, irritated and depressed. My eyes were slightly puffy and my energy level tanked. The scale informed me I had gained 6 pounds while my clothes confirmed by growing tighter. Of course I realize I did not actually gain 6 pounds of fat. Most of it was water weight, but it was still shocking to see and feel. I was disheartened when I noticed my joint pain had returned, making sleep very uncomfortable. That’s when it hit me that what I put in my body really does matter.
I learned an important lesson from four days of eating what most would consider pretty typical and healthy. When the next holiday rolls around, the questions I’ll have to ask myself are: Is it going to be worth it? Do I want to risk feeling like crap both physically and mentally? I’m not preaching that we shouldn’t indulge over the holidays, but we do have to consider the state of our health when we do it. When we have an illness lurking in our body waiting to be triggered again we have to reflect on why we want to risk it.
Most of us don’t want to diet or focus on healthy eating during the holidays because it’s so much more fun and traditional and accepted to indulge in everything. But when you aren’t feeling well, or when you know firsthand the effects that certain foods have on your body, that should prompt us to pause and seriously consider what we’re doing and why.
Am I convinced that one day of eating dessert or pasta will ruin me? No. But once I started indulging, it became very difficult to stop. The addictive power of food is intense. It was clear that eating certain foods for more than a day or two could cause my symptoms to return.
I realize my situation doesn’t apply to everyone. There are some people who can eat whatever they want whenever they want and claim to always feel amazing. But there are many more who struggle with food addiction, disordered eating, and lifestyle diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, certain cancers, or autoimmune diseases. It’s been proven our eating habits can drastically affect our emotional and physical well-being, as well as prevent and reverse disease.
We have the power to bolster our bodies’ ability to heal and flourish with each bite. Are the few minutes of pleasure worth the negative effects I experienced firsthand? My body has been through a lot these last few years so shouldn’t I treat it kindly to avoid a relapse? It’s not like I don’t get pleasure from healthy foods either. I have lots of delicious recipes that don’t flip a switch in my brain, trigger intense cravings and ultimately lead to pain and discomfort within my body.
Thankfully, after returning to a raw vegetable, fruit, and whole food diet, my body felt much better. It’s quite empowering to know that I have first hand proof that what I choose to eat really does make a difference.
We don’t think twice about fueling our vehicles correctly for optimal performance, don’t our bodies deserve the same?