Am I seriously going to run 55K (34.1 miles) in three weeks? To say that I’ve been battling doubts lately would be an understatement. Although, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that no matter how many miles I log in preparation, doubt would still be present. That’s the way it tends to be with big goals and challenges, especially in running, at least for me. Just three months ago I was doubtful about my ability to finish a half marathon without collapsing, yet I ended up crushing my goal. A month ago I finished 15 miles convinced that I couldn’t possibly run a step further. Yet the following weekend, I completed an 18 miler proving myself wrong.
Our minds are incredibly powerful. When I set out to run a specific distance, that’s about where my body quits each time. So I guess as long as I know I need to cover 34.1 miles, my mind will get me there. (If only it was that simple!) Matt Fitzgerald‘s book, How Bad Do You Want It, highlights research on the power of our minds in endurance events. I highly recommend it if you’re looking to build your mental toughness. There were many takeaways that I’ve been trying to put into practice as the big day approaches.
On my long runs I’ve been trying to engage my mind and thoughts on my surroundings to distract myself from the fatigue and soreness in my body. It really is helpful, although near the end of a 20 miler it’s very challenging. But if there’s something going on (like an eagle soaring above the river or wildlife scampering through the woods ) or if I pass by others along my route, it always grants me a reprieve. Anything to force my thoughts outside of myself.
This might sound really weird, but I also try to remember to smile. After I read about it, I noticed that my facial muscles were typically tense and grimacing — especially the longer or harder I ran. But then I realized on one particular run in Delaware, where I was enjoying the sites along a running path, I was naturally smiling. It’s no coincidence that the run felt amazing and was much faster than I believed I was capable of. The distractions and smiling relaxed my whole body. Now when I find myself grimacing, I shake out my arms, take a deep breath and tell myself to smile and relax. It really does relieve the tension and reset my mind and body.
Running with others whenever possible has been integral to my consistency. Conversation distracts our brains, and when we are laughing, happy and having fun with our friends, it almost always makes the effort seem less. It’s much easier to run faster with people we enjoy spending time with.
These little tricks helped me accomplish a breakthrough— running a much faster pace for 6 miles than I believed was possible at this point. That accomplishment in turn boosted my confidence and since then I’ve been able to break through the pace barrier I had been stuck in. It’s exciting to finally have evidence that what I’ve been doing is actually working.
With all that being said, I’m still a little freaked out about the distance. I ran a 50K almost 10 years ago, but this feels much bigger. My body is much different than it was a decade ago. However, I am wiser. I’m not setting a time goal and I’ve accepted that I’m going to have to include walk breaks. My competitive, perfectionist mind isn’t fully OK with that yet because, of course, part of me believes I need to run the entire distance for it to count. But most of me— the wiser part of me — knows this is a different beast and it doesn’t matter how slow or fast I go. In the end, I’ll still be completing the distance. Not long ago I was struggling to walk a 5K, so I think multiplying the distance by 10 and then adding three more miles justifies a few walk breaks and definitely counts.
My longest run has been 20 miles. It hurt more than I thought it would. I kept envisioning running for another 14 and couldn’t fathom it. But that day my mind wasn’t prepared for more, and my body wasn’t rested. Thankfully, it taught me I need to start out much slower, walk before I’m exhausted, lean into the excitement of the day and focus on the reason why I’m doing this in the first place.
I want to demonstrate that perimenopause can be the start of an amazing new adventure where we can continue to challenge our bodies and grow stronger. We do not need to slow down.
I’ve also had many mental health struggles throughout my life, but I’m still here, stronger and full of hope. Hopefully someone will be inspired to try running to help combat depression, anxiety, etc., and realize that they’re not alone. Raising money for the organization Heart Support, is so important to me because they work directly in the music scene, providing mental health support and encouragement to struggling people. It’s a mission close to my heart. (More details on the fundraiser to come)
So despite my doubts, I’m excited for the WHY. I’m looking forward to spending the day with my family as they challenge themselves as well, and with awesome friends who have been helping with logistics and ideas. I couldn’t do it without any of them. Until then I still have more miles to log, then a taper that I’m really looking forward to, especially since we have so much going on right now.
In the meantime, I challenge you to set a goal, make a plan and get moving. Today is the best day to start. Before you know it, you’ll be crushing mini goals along the way while celebrating your growth and strength, even when you’re presented with a hurdle. Remember — one step at a time and keep smiling — it definitely feels better that way!
If you’re interested in joining us, whether it be to walk a mile, run 3 miles, run 20 miles, or even bike — whatever you want to do to challenge yourself that day — I encourage you to join us for a day where we can celebrate being outside and having the ability to move our bodies while raising money for something greater than ourselves.
Be sure to follow @runthroughperimenopause on Instagram for more details and updates, especially on the day of the run, which is June 28.